Lost opportunity I wasn’t sure which category to put this in
Was he holding a candle or not? He was a high energy, spastic kid when we were . Let’s him . We grew up together, along with a gaggle of others our age, one week a summer for thirteen years. It is just now dawning on me that he may have been the I had been seeking all along. I wonder if I am imagining the memories and my impressions, or if. Either way I am a loser at this point. I remember one time the teachers had us pair up where one of us would lead a classmate with their eyes closed by their name. He, another girl, and I were a trio as the oddballs of the group.
Then I had a brief fling with this other guy, who fell in love with me by all appearances ( love what’s the best gay hookup app, you know)
He said my name soooo sweetly, so tenderly. It was sort of the point of exercise, but I haven’t heard anyone say my name like that ever. Then I remember one time he said he would be skipping the next summer, to attend a similar event at a different location. I believe I said I’d miss him, or maybe I just thought it. I remember he was someone always looked for when I arrived at the beginning of the week. At the same time, my expressed very openly a crush on this punk girl that arrived new in our teens. I was jealous, in the way, that I just thought the punk girl was taking her suitor for granted.
I didn’t really have any pain over the scenario, just eye rolling. I think I ‘forgot’ about him awhile after that. Also we didn’t particularly hang out alone or even sit next to each other at meals. I don’t re having any conversations with him, actually. Then I remember his dad attending this summer dream place once for a special ceremony. His dad introduced himself to me and when I said my name his Dad looked very surprised. He said, “I’ve HEARD of you. I remember being very surprised and staring a little at to ascertain his . He didn’t comment, just looked embarrassed. Then I also remember the group of us just hanging in a room, like we always did. Punk girl was out of the room.
From there, my life took off and I never went back
I remember I pulled one of his leg hairs. We did flirt for the only, first time that I know of. Then the group went outside and we were playing with swimming pool noodles. Well, I won’t go into details. However, the memory is still the last very fun, warm memory I have before I left home to live as an . After that summer, I came with one boyfriend the following summer. I don’t re seeing anywhere that week. Then I went through a series of experiences. My family consistently reported whatever was doing each summer that I missed. I felt very warm each time they share a story, even if it was to make fun of him.
After the first situation, I did go back to this magical summer place, twice. He didn’t seem that interested in talking to me. I thought that time had passed and maybe I wasn’t attractive to him anymore. So I forgot about him as an option (though I was consciously hoping for some spark to catch). Then I went into my second situation. At the end of this, we were in touch over a predominant social media website. I asked if he would be at the magical, summer place the following summer as I had already missed the one in , I relocated to escape and again missed the magical, summer place. We messaged over the predominant social media , and he expressed his disappointment. Now my sister had pointed out to me, a year or two before, that was always asking about me and passing along good wishes.